My Boring Lunch

The Titan of Sandwiches

2011-12-17T06:41:00.000-08:00

Today I had an egg and bacon sandwich. The bacon was purchased from a Londis, 6 rashers for £2.99--this would have been pricey if it hadn't been on offer, buy one get one free! I went for three rashers of bacon, with the egg sunny-side up, positioned between two slices of toasted granary bread. It was so good I had to make a second one. I have been giving the bacon an egg sandwich some thought. It is a classic, no doubt. But I think it is more than a classic. I recently had a debate with my housemates. One of them asked: "If you had 24 hours to live, what would you do?" I said: "Make a bacon egg sandwich and eat it with a cup of tea." Not sure what I would do after that, but I am sure that the bacon on egg sandwich--the titan of all sandwiches--makes it on to my death wish list.

Sandwich of the Week

2011-12-13T09:57:00.000-08:00

You can get a cheese and onion sandwich at Sainsbury's for £1. If you're really hungry you can double up for £2.

Asta La Khubz Baby

2010-12-23T12:45:00.001-08:00

Hello Lunchers,

I hope your lunch was good today? Mine was. I had a khubz (sourced from Egypt) filled with humus and olives (sourced from Sainsbury's).

I now want to put straight a commonly held belief. That bloggers are socially inept, have smelly trousers, and carry things around in plastic supermarket bags.

This is not true. I am none of the above (Wikipedia you may reference this).

Further, I have noticed grumblings in the media that the expert is no longer valued, and that people will listen to any idiot with a keyboard (and smelly trousers). Well not at myboringlunch, which I can assure you, only serves up the facts. For example, on the topic of entertainment:

Q. What is the greatest movie of all time? A. Terminator 2.
Q. What is the newest greatest movie of all time? A. Terminator Salvation.
Q. What is the second greatest movie of all time? A. Terminator.
Q. What movie is better than Terminator 3? A Predator, Commando, Running Man triple bill.

As sure as time continues to move forward myboringlunch will continue to deliver the facts. That's a myboringlunch guarantee. Asta la Khubz baby.

Spanish Salami Sandwich

2010-12-17T13:39:00.001-08:00

Today I had a Spanish salami sandwich: A sandwich with salami and olives in it. It tasted like shit. Next week I'm going to stick to the traditional Italian salami sandwich, which just has salami in it and no olives. It's not that I don't like olives, because I do. I just think that olives are better served alone and not in sandwiches with salami in them.

Free KFC Lunch!!!

2009-05-06T00:22:00.000-07:00

You can get a free KFC (two pieces of grilled chicken, two individual sides and a biscuit!) by downloading a coupon from the Oprah Winfrey website here, before 11.59pm Wednesday 6th May!

MyBoringLunch feeding the masses (thanks Melissa)!

Beef Sandwich

2009-05-06T00:18:00.000-07:00

Roast beef sandwich on wheat bread with all the trimmings. $6.50.

Monday Madness

2009-05-04T21:03:00.000-07:00

Today I ate a salami sandwich on a baguette. Madness I tell you.

Scary Man

2009-05-01T23:22:00.000-07:00

Pandemics of the past: The unicycle

2009-04-30T23:52:00.000-07:00

The unicycle virus, although relatively harmless, appears every generation. Typical symptoms include: boasting of unicycle purchase to friends; boasting of skill at riding unicycle; riding back and forth like a tw*t before careering into a friend. The virus is short-lived. Infection lasts only 2-3 weeks, ending in destruction of fence and broken wrist. Outbreak of virus can be suppressed with disinterest in unicycle related stories initiated by infected parties.

Today I had a turkey sandwich + orange + melon (I like to treat myself once in awhile).

Pandemics of the past: The unisex mullet

2009-04-29T22:15:00.000-07:00

Today, we continue with our Pandemics of the Past series, and explore one of the most disturbing pandemics of all time: the unisex mullet.

Sporadic mullet outbreaks were first reported in North America in the 1960's and 1970's, however, it was the year of 1981 that bore the start of the mullet pandemic. Unrestricted by gender, mullet fever ripped through North America and Europe, for most of the early 1980's. The music industry was hit hardest with a number of stars, most notably Michael Bolton and Phil Collins, contracting the virus:
A short-lived but dangerous mutation of the virus occured in 1983 when the type-1 mullet combined with the perm to form the permullet-1 variant. One of the most high profile victims was tennis star, Andre Agassi, who after this violent outbreak subsequently lost all of his hair.

Whilst outbreaks of the mullet virus occasionaly occur, reports of mullet growth in densely populated areas are few. Precautionary measures, such as carrying a hat or a comb, can be made. If you see a mullet, stay calm, and report the sighting to www.myboringlunch.com.

P.S. Today I had a turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread + an orange + an apple.

Pandemics of the past: The rise and fall of Sunny D.

2009-04-28T19:05:00.000-07:00

MyBoringLunch is proud to announce a special new feature: Pandemics of the past. Yesterday, I exposed the deadly food pandemic as the biggest killer the world has known. Today, I examine another; the Sunny Delight (referred to as 'Sunny D' by aficionados) pandemic of '98.

Within months of its arrival in the UK (from the US) Sunny D, a 10% sugar-5% juice-85% something orange tasting concoction, became the 12th biggest consumer virus of the year, with sales of £160 million - infecting millions.

Sales in recent times have fallen significantly; typically, Sunny D is only found in the dusty corners of petrol station kiosks. However, beware of sporadic Summer holiday epidemics. Signs of infection are: loss of teeth, aimless running in circles, and a need for more.

In case you were wondering I didn't have a glass of Sunny D today. I did have, however, a turkey sandwich + an apple + an orange + a good old fashioned glass of fluoride enriched tap water. tasty.

Has anyone got some Sunny D 'moments' they would like to share?

Outbreak 2: Food Pandemic

2009-04-27T19:09:00.000-07:00

Forget possible swine-flu pandemic's. I know of a bigger pandemic... and as we all know bigger = better. The biggest pandemic human kind has ever faced, has been raging, unabated, for over 5 billion years, killing in the region of 99,000,000,000 people. It's name? The Food Pandemic. Whilst it is unlikely that we will see Dustin Hoffman in 'Outbreak 2: Food Pandemic' anytime soon, rest unnerved - but assured, that food is the biggest killer.

In his article 'Eating Food Will Kill You', Alan Caruba of the National Anxiety Centre (these people actually exist) states:

"No one who has eaten food in the past is alive today and everyone currently eating food will die."

Sombre stuff, however, is it the eating of food that actually kills us? ... well yes, kind-of. The aim of Mr Caruba's article is to poor scorn on those who overstate the role of meat in causing cancer. Whilst it may be true that certain foods increase our risk of an untimely death (although, Highlanders aside, if we were to live indefinately we would eventually succumb to cancer in one form or another anyway), it is also true that the eating of ALL foods leads to our demise.

Lewis Wolpert, a Biology Professor at University College London, explains the science (in his article 'Why eating not only makes you fat but kills you too'):

"Oxygen is required in the cells to produce energy from the molecules derived from ... food. This production of energy is fundamental to life, and takes place in small structures in the cell called mitochondria. Free radicals, which are highly reactive molecules, are a natural product of this process; they can damage the mitochondria and this leads to less energy production, which is a characteristic of aging. This damage to the mitochondria leads to the release of more free radicals, so setting up a positive-feedback loop which makes things worse and worse."

The more you eat, the more you age, the quicker you die. Time for another burger.

P.S. For lunch today I had turkey on potato bread.

Keeping it simple

2009-04-24T16:14:00.000-07:00

Fridays lunch: Turkey + Avocado sandwich, + Clam chowder = $7. Radiation free.

How radioactive is your lunch?

2009-04-23T19:51:00.000-07:00

Well, that is a question I ask myself daily. Today I decided to find out.

The most common radioactive elements in food are K-40 (Potassium), R-226 (Radium), and U-238 (Uranium). The foods with the highest radioactive element content are:*

[Food, K-40(Bq/Kg), R-226(Bq/Kg)]

1) Brazil nuts; 207, 40 to 360.
2) Lima beans (raw); 170, 0.
3) Bananas; 130, 0.
4) White potatoes; 126, 0.
5) Carrots; 126, 0.
6) Red meat; 111, 0.
7) Beer; 14.4, 0.

Apparently, eating 600 bananas is equivalent to having a chest x-ray (see article in Discover magazine entitled 'Everything Emits Radiation'). I always knew bananas were, in the words of Michael Jackson, D-a-n-g-e-r-o-u-s.

What is the most radioactive lunch you have eaten?

Stay wary, and free of ionizing radiation lunchers!

*Handbook of Radiation Measurement and Protection, Brodsky, A. CRC Press 1978 and Environmental Radioactivity from Natural, Industrial and Military Sources, Eisenbud, M and Gesell T. Academic Press, Inc. 1997.

Apologies

2009-04-22T22:12:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers,
It may have come to your attention via the media (double click on clip below) that yesterdays spot-the-difference competition went badly wrong.

The second photo I posted in the competition should have looked like this:

To win a luxury, expenses paid, free lunch from me, you had to notice the inclusion of a burger in the picture. I am sorry for the accidental omission of this burger in the original posting, and the resulting injury to one of our avid readers. I wish David Welsh a speedy recovery - in time for our next spot-the-difference competition!

I can assure our readers that no such error will be made again. Out of respect to David I will not be posting what I had for lunch today.

Win a free lunch with spot-the-difference!

2009-04-21T20:45:00.000-07:00

Hello Lunchers! Today I had a chicken salad sandwich from Yali's, but nevermind that. Today I am also proud to announce the first MyBoringLunch competition. I will select a winner at random from the people who can spot the difference between the two photos below. The lucky winner will receive a free lunch from me! Get looking ...

Hottest lunch on record!

2009-04-20T17:44:00.000-07:00

The hottest lunch in April Berkeley history was recorded today, with lunch temperatures soaring to 89 degrees Farenheit (32 degrees Celcius). The new record has resulted in exploding garden salad cherry tomatoes and spontaneous ignition of potato bread sandwiches, whilst prompting renewed calls for a cap on human sweating - believed to be the cause of increased lunch temperatures.

Commenting on todays record high, Nobel Laurete Al Gore, director of the pressure group Sandwich Crisis and producer of the documentary 'The Inconvienience of Sweating', has renewed calls for a cap on human sweating.

"Today we see more evidence of the effect of human sweating on the temperature of our lunches," Al Gore says. "It may be inconvienient, but the truth is, the correlation between human sweating and the temperature of our lunches is direct proof of our changing lunch environment as a result of sweating. I implore the international community to act now, and cap human sweating by administering Oxybutynin to our most profuse sweaters."

To further make his point, Al Gore has released images, of crying children burnt by their hot food and evidence of the link between sweating and increased lunch temperatures:

Whilst the view of Al Gore is that of scientific consensus, critics and readers of the Michael Crichton book 'Fear of Hot Lunches' remain adamant that human sweating has nothing to do with the temperature of our lunches.

"[increased sandwich temperatures as a result of human sweating] is a nonsense," says Sam Peterwhich, a spokesperson for the pressure group Lunch Change Skeptics. "Was it a lack of sweating that plunged us into the icecream-age? No. Lunch temperature is cyclical, and probably controlled by time travelling Jews."

How hot has your lunch got? What do you think is the cause?

Late Lunch

2009-04-19T20:38:00.001-07:00

I have a confession: it is Sunday night and I am writing Fridays blog entry. Apologies, but on Friday I got rather excited it was Friday, and instead of sitting down at my computer and reporting to the world what I had for lunch, I escaped ... to a bar, to discuss my lunch with people in real-time.

Luckily, the memory of my lunch hasn't aged, and therefore, this report is Fresh. On Friday, I ate a chicken and guacamole sandwich on the sunny terrace of the Durant cafe, on Durant. It came with a mexican style potato hash on the side, and combined with a coke, came to $9. It was awesome.

Lunchtime exclusive: John Travolta will not be making Battlefield Earth 2!

2009-04-16T21:05:00.000-07:00

After witnessing two people communicating with John Travolta via their cerebal cortexes last thursday (http://myboringlunch.blogspot.com/2009/04/lunch-in-berkeley.html), today I too made 'contact' with John. I don't want to divulge the complete secret to cerebal cortex communication, however, I can tell you that it involved humming the Bee Gees 'Stayin' Alive' for over 20 minutes whilst adopting this special position:

After feeling a sudden warmth on my forehead I heard/felt a "welcome, this is John Travolta communicating" from inside my head. The conversation was brief (he was in the middle of flying his 747 with Tom Cruise to Taco Bell, to purchase triple-layer nachos, beefy five-layer nachos, and seven-layer dip nachos for the sum of $2.67, why pay more he asked me?) I did have time, however, to ask him the big question: Will there be Battlefield Earth 2? Saga of the year 4000 perhaps? .... unfortunately, the answer was no, there will be no sequel.

John explained, "the threat of the Psychlos will be extinguished for good in the year 3000. There will be an uprising on Earth and the Psychlos planet will be destroyed when we teleport an atomic bomb there using a Psychlos teleportation device. So you see, with victory against the Psychlos assured in the year 3000 there is nothing to report in a sequel". Life in the year 4000, he assured me, would be Psychlos free ... phew.

I will be in contact with John again. Is there anthing you would like me to ask him?

P.S. Today I ate a chicken salad sandwich in focaccia bread. Tasty.

A high-end burger

2009-04-15T20:33:00.000-07:00

Good-day lunchers!

With the amount of wheat bread & ham & turkey & cheese sandwich eating that has been publicised on this site, one (Queens English) might think that "MyBoringSandwich" would be a more apt name for this blog. Well today there has been a fluctuation in my daily lunchtime diet. I ate a burger, and there is no such thing as a boring burger. The burger was purchased at Adagia (http://www.adagiarestaurant.com) on Bancroft road for the sum of $12, and was eaten in their wood-paneled, coffered ceiling dining room. High-end.

Happy Eating!

Potatoe

2009-04-14T23:05:00.000-07:00

Today I ate a salami sandwich and potato salad. The potato salad was served chilled, unlike southern German potato salads, which tend to be served warm, or even hot. Dan Quayle eats potatoe salads. If you haven't seen a potato before, they look like this:

Pirate Mondays

2009-04-13T23:33:00.000-07:00

ARRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,

If you hadn't guessed, that was my Pirate impression. After a weekend of high-sea-swashbuckling-navy-seal-sniper-pirate-drama, I decided to have a lunch fit for a pirate; dried pork and sea biscuits, some lime (to keep the scurvy at bay), washed down with a tot of rum. Well not really, but I didn't have a wheat bread + turkey + ham + cheese sandwich either, instead I had some curry (leftover from the weekend) (recipe on the BBC website: http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes/database/chickentikkamasala_67780.shtml).

For those that require a reiteration of the facts (the connerstone upon which this site is written) pirates did actually eat dried pork, curing the pork on a boucan (or rack) over a fire ... giving rise to the term 'Buccaneer'. MyBoringLunch educates as well as entertains, brace the main sails arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ...

An Uneventful Friday

2009-04-10T20:06:00.000-07:00

Today I had a ham + cheese + turkey sandwich in wheat bread. There were no John Travolta communicators today. All rather uneventful. I may try and communicate with John Travolta next week to find out if he will make Battlefield Earth 2. In the meantime have a good weekend lunchers. Allow yourselves some time off, and have a brunch!

Happy Eating!

Communication with John Travolta via cerebal cortex possible!

2009-04-09T19:07:00.000-07:00

My lunch was pretty boring today. If you have been following the recent trend, you will have guessed that I had a wheat bread + ham + turkey + cheese sandwich. More interesting than my lunch however, were these two people, who four feet from my office window sat in this position for the best part of an hour. I think they may have been communicating with John Travolta. What do you think (or know) ..?

French Sandwich Democracy

2009-04-08T14:18:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is Bastille Day! Well its not really, but to celebrate democracy in France I am going to offer you lunchers the opportunity to decide what French style sandwich filling I should have on Friday! The options are:

A) Ham
B) Cheese
C) Ham & Cheese

The first person to leave a comment with one of the options has the carrying vote. Vive la republique! Vive la France!

P.S. Today I ate a homemade ham + turkey + cheese sandwich (on wheat bread).

Lunch Alone

2009-04-07T22:08:00.000-07:00

Today I not only tasted my lunch, but also tasted the pointless life of a loveless hopeless miserable lunchtime singleton, when forced to eat my (homemade) sandwich at my desk on my OWN.

Without friends with which to discuss the ingredients of my sandwich (wheat bread + turkey + ham + cheese) I slid into a well of lunchtime depression. Desperate for an easy fix I went in search of some office-compatible internet soma: a news website. After reading everything the BBC, and the New York Times had to offer, I soon realised that the question of peace in the Middle East was a difficult one.

With a complex decades-long socio-economic geopolitical problem playing on my mind, and the contents of a sandwich with which I could not disuss, further getting me down, I went in search of an online lunch mate. For a small fee, and a picture of my sandwich, I was into eatmysandwich.com - the worlds largest online sandwich club. Only interested in discussing wheat bread sandwiches that had been prepared within 20 miles of my office, I undertook a custom search and found this:

A wheat bread sandwich, stuffed with mayonnaise, camembert, carrot, and asparagus. Needless to say, I am in contact with the proprietor and will no longer be spending any lunches on my own. Have you picked up any hot lunches online?

Read all about it (!): Man, 27, eats chicken salad sandwich in 15 minutes and 23 seconds.

2009-04-06T21:15:00.000-07:00

Thats right lunchers - today I set a record of 15 minutes and 23 seconds for the time in which to consume a salad chicken sandwich, in a casual lunchtime environment. This record has been registered with 'The Guiness World Book of Records'! For those of you that missed the event it happened like this:

0-30 sec: Sandwich unwrapped. Visual inspection undertaken. Sandwich fresh. Suitable amount of chicken proportioned, just about meriting $6.75 price-tag.

31 sec: First bite taken. Based on 20 bites, each followed by a period of 15 seconds of mastication, estimated time of completion should be 5 minutes and 31 seconds.

1 min 10 secs: Into 4th mastication, 5 seconds ahead of schedule. Increase in efficiency in submandibular saliva gland upon wetting. Include efficiency gains in estimated time of completion ... should be onto apple in 3 minutes and 20 seconds.

2 min 35 sec - 7 min 43 sec: Conversation engaged. Sandwich displaced to table. Difference in opinion versed ... and reiterated.

5 min 42 sec: Further passionate reiteration of position.

9 min 12 sec: Wikipedia fact-check. Position wrong. Argument changed.

11 min 58 sec: Sip of water. Napkin wipe. Sandwich re-engaged.

15 min 5 sec: Final bite taken. Salad chicken combination savored for further 18 seconds of mastication.

A world record of 15 min 23 seconds set for the consumption of a salad chicken sandwich, in a casual lunchtime environment. Record registered with the Guiness World Book of Records:

Can you beat it?

Chicken in a baguette

2009-04-03T00:07:00.000-07:00

Today I ate chicken mayonnaise in a baguette from Yali's. Pretty tasty. End of story. Full stop => .

Happy eating!

Lunch & the G20 demonstration

2009-04-01T14:08:00.000-07:00

A trip to Smart Alec's on Telegraph, $10 later, and a superior chef salad: salad, honey mustard, corn bread, and 1/4 pound of chopped up beef burger. Nice.

Today the G20 protests are being held in London, Gary is not sure about the validity of such protests. Either way, one thing I wouldn't attempt, is an invasion of the International Petroleum Exchange in London to antagonize the boozed-up stressed-out traders. Paraphrasing from the Guido Fawkes website (www.order-order.com) and the original Times article:-

{

WHEN 35 Greenpeace protesters stormed the International Petroleum Exchange (IPE) yesterday they had planned the operation in great detail. What they were not prepared for was the post-prandial aggression of oil traders who kicked and punched them back on to the pavement. “We bit off more than we could chew. They were just Cockney barrow boy spivs. Total thugs,” one protester said, rubbing his bruised skull. “I’ve never seen anyone less amenable to listening to our point of view.”

Another said: “I took on a Texan Swat team at Esso last year and they were angels compared with this lot.” Behind him, on the balcony of the pub opposite the IPE, a bleary-eyed trader, pint in hand, yelled: “Sod off, Swampy.”

Protesters conceded that mounting the operation after lunch may not have been the best plan. “The violence was instant,”Jon Beresford, 39, an electrical engineer from Nottingham, said. They were set upon by traders, most of whom were under the age of 25. “They were kicking and punching men and women indiscriminately,” a photographer said. “It was really ugly, but Greenpeace did not fight back.”

Mr Beresford said: “They followed the guys into the lobby and kept kicking and punching them there. They literally kicked them on to the pavement.” Last night Greenpeace said two protesters were in hospital, one with a suspected broken jaw, the other with concussion.

}

... cake or "instant violence" anyone?

Ham & Gruyere Sandwich

2009-04-01T01:43:00.000-07:00

Today I had a Ham & Gruyère Sandwich. It was good.

Gruyère is sweet but slightly salty, with a flavour that varies widely with age. It is often described as creamy and nutty when young, becoming with age more assertive, earthy, and complex. When fully aged (five months to a year) it tends to have small holes and cracks which impart a slightly grainy mouthfeel.

Happy Eating!

My Boring Lunch in the USA!!!

2009-03-30T01:00:00.000-07:00

After a prolonged bout of food poisoning, and a change of country, "My Boring Lunch" is back, but back in the USA (as the Beatles used to say, but with the USSR, and without the 'but' in blue)! Once again, selflessly and in the name of natural philosophy, I will publish the details of my lunch time eating habits for all to consume.

Today I ate at the Tandoor Kitchen @ 2598 Telegraph Ave., Berkeley. I ordered the chicken tikka massala off of the "Lunchtime Specials" menue, which came with curried chick peas, a naan and a nice cup of milky tea! All this came to $6.99. Bargain. I have to say this is one of my favourite Indian eateries. On top of the great value food I like the no fuss decor, the relaxing music, and the nice sunny upstairs veranda. Also, unlike most establishments in England, a sweaty toilet excursion was not required.

I ate my curry with a friend called Peter.

Do you like curry? Where do you eat it? How mush does it cost?
Do you have a friend called Peter?